Tag Archives: COMEDY

Jeff Dunham Achmed’s “Jingle Bombs”

Freaking hilarious Achmed is back with his Jingle Bell (Jingle Bombs) song..

Lyrics:

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That’s when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…

[it’s not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
or I’ll kill you…

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Love or Marriage!!!

love-or-marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.

Conclusion: “Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener

12 Days of Christmas

 

12 Days of Christmas video clip re-worked Indian style. Performed by animated popstar, Boymongoose and Indian boyband.

lyrics–

on the 12 day of christmas my true love gave 2 me,
12 cricket ball tamperers,
11 syllable names,
10 minutes of yoga,
9 telemarketers,
8 bollywood film,
7 eleven workers,
6 IT graduates,
5 indian games,
4 harikrishnaas,
3 butter chickens,
2 nosey in-laws,
and a totally insuffiecient dowry.

This is very ingenious and classic (MAGICAL Words)

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYE S:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER