Tag Archives: JOKES

This is very ingenious and classic (MAGICAL Words)

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYE S:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

About Wives – humour

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong .

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
I asked her, “Where’s the car?”
She replied, “In the lake.”

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: “You can have mine.”

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.”

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Confusing quotes

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes and from Finland Fines?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Why is it that you drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called “rush hour”?

Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why do people say “The alarm just went off” when really it just came on?

Advise for woman

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10 Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books .

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal!