Tag Archives: saying

12 Things You Don’t Know About Women

1. “Call us back right away. That ‘three day’ business does not apply. We’re getting older, and we don’t have time to screw around. Wait too long and we’ll lose interest. Trust me on this one.”

2. “We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It’s bad enough if you don’t have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it.”

3. “Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates.”

4. “Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it’s a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy.”

5. “When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you’re afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it’s always flattering when you hit on us. Always.”

6. “Supersecret: Unless we’re blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you.”

7. “We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it a black tie [event] or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that… what are you doing in there?”
“We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish.”

8. “Even if we’ve only been dating a few weeks, don’t introduce us as your lady friend– or that’s exactly what we’ll become.”

9. “If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.”

10. “We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don’t always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you’d like to discuss it further, just leave a message.”

11. “We’re afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we’re not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models.”

12. “Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends.”

Happy New Year 2010

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May New Year’s Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance – and include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say “I love you” at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.

And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God’s love in every sunset, every flower’s unfolding petals, every baby’s smile, every lover’s kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.

Trouble Like a Pebble

 

pebble

A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway of life.

Morning Motivation

good-morning

Life comes with its ups and downs. It is really easy to enjoy the good times that we have, but it is when we are down with problems in wealth, health, at work or relationships, that we find it very tough to go through life.However, it is the successful dealing with these problems that makes us stronger and stronger. I know, this is easier said than done, for it is when we are right smack in the middle of whatever problems that we may be facing, that we often experience utter despair and misery. ….we can still help ourselves by gathering a little bit of strength here and there, just enough to motivate us to go through life one step at a time…instead of being stuck in a rut with our problems.